COME AND GO
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moon phases � |
Men, I mostly can't stand them. Even after all these years of the same guy - no tolerance. There is something to be said for short simple relationships, they are easy to forget.
Men, they come and they're gone. How the fuck have they survived as a species? Women, of course. I am starting to feel like Mama Bear did a few years ago. Psychologically abused and damned protective of my cub.
I have just never taken relationships as competitive sports. I am not a competitive person, it's too restrictive. All this being challenged to be confrontational is wearing out fast. This whole fiasco about two bananas this morning was the straw that broke this camel's back. Seriously, all I asked was where are the two bananas that were on the kitchen counter and the next thing I knew I was on some strange two dimensional battlefield scratching my head as I tried to prevent trauma to my little one. Besides, since when does he pay attention to anything in this house much less make a unilateral decision that the bananas need to be chucked?? Obviously he hasn't been paying attention because if he had he would know ugly bananas are the most desirable for banana muffins. I feel like Martha Stewart on PCP for fucks sake.
I did finally say something to the shit on the phone a bit latter about if this is the way things are I was way off in my shitometer readings - it's worse than I imagined.
Get this, lucky me, he is off for the next two days. I will bet nothing will be said and nothing will change no matter how many opportunities for mature conversation present themselves. I, for one, have nothing to say unless I am presented with some very strong evidence that things are not going to remain same shit different day......
I really need some me therapy, quick. Really thinking about taking the old clunk box out to see what we see. I bought film for the beast months ago and I have as yet to hit the shutter release. If it would just stop snowing, raining, blowing....blah, blah, blah.
The landscape is so grey lately, seems a shame to waste color film - sometimes things come along to suprise the eye.....and the soul.
The stars were really cool this morning. When it is so cold the stars just twinkle and dance so. I wonder if one of them was the space station. I have to look into that, it is supposed to be visable to the naked eye. I remember looking up at skylab, it is somehow reassuring to know some people believe in adventure.
written at 22:36:06
2001-02-12
Miss something?
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