INTOLERANCE
|
moon phases � |
Ok, so here it is again, same shit a different day. This whole thing is ridiculous and I know it. Everything I do and everywhere I turn reminds me that all is dead with rainman. The real kicker is that the just walk away option is not viable. Even if all was simple, when a kid is involved it is a slow and agonizing process to separate and even then the kid is always a connection. The complication of the house really being my parents� even though it is in our names is just more shit than I want to handle.
I guess the only choice right now is to live a life that is exclusive of his as much as possible and look for a opening to get him out (I can�t very well tell my parents� they need to move because my husband is a shit). I have been trying to keep myself out of involvement with him as much as possible simply because there is no happier alternative. He comes home with a plant the other night and I guess I was supposed to be thankful, I had already gotten a bunch of flowering plants to try to banish the late winter blues, there was no comment or conversation, just the plant. Plants grow in earth, not shit.
A wants nothing to do with him. He can�t dress her, bedtime is hell the occasions he is home for it, and she is clinging to me like a 9 month old. How the hell do I counteract this for her?? I am very angry and depressed and it is hard for me to do the day to day stuff without trying to cure a lousy situation.
The few hours in the past few days rainman has been home he has either been asleep, or busy. Then he wants A to listen to him. he came home on Friday after dinner and by 6:30 he was dozing in his chair. He don�t work that hard and he gets up after me in the morning, so why do you suppose he is falling asleep at such a ridiculously early hour......ALCOHOL, maybe.......he is a sneaky mutherfucker I will say that. He won�t look anyone in the eye, my dad wants to know if he feels OK, he won�t talk to ANYONE.
A is not totally without desire for daddy, she wants to know if he will be home, she seems so confused. I do too. All humans need intimacy and love and will tolerate alot to get it. I am done with toleration.....
written at 8:19 p.m.
2001-04-1
Miss something?
- - January 26, 2009
- - May 26, 2008
- - April 09, 2008
- - January 21, 2008
- - November 24, 2007