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PLACE YOUR BETS

The current mood of greenwitch at www.imood.com

moon phases

I am breathing green dust and it does not agree with me. All the trees sprouted leaves in the past week and the pollen is totally overwhelming. It was ninety degrees nearly all last week and the plants went into overdrive. It was truely oppresive to have such heat after such a cool psuedospring.

The rainman fiasco continues as always, same shit - different day. There has been no further attempts at communication from him and I have not initiated anything further since it really is a waste of time. I have made a couple of comments about lifestyle choices but it all falls on deaf ears.

I sat down this morning to write some checks for household expenses. When I got to the cable tv bill I just wanted to throw up. Apparently two nights in the past month he has blown $6 a pop for crap porn tv - playboy and spice. Just think he is not required to have any kind of relationship with anyone but himself as he sits in the dark while his wife and daughter sleep in other rooms of the house. He can hold his dick and watch fake orgasms on the drone screen. OOH, it just tickles me all over to think about it (not). What a sexy guy he is, don't you think? Well, as you can guess this is a real turn off for me (like I need one right now, thank you), so I just left the itemized bill with his car keys and wallet with the offending items marked and the words, "this really bothers me". I couldn't very well say anything in front of A. Not a conversation I would want to have with an audience. Need I say, he has said nothing about it. I spoke to the stupid shit several times on the phone. No reply..... I am getting paranoid about what I might find on the futon after he works late.

Don't get me wrong, I am far from a prude. I just can't relate to the exploitive girly shit that is produces by these organizations. Tastefull erotica is wonderful. And the fact that he is using this stuff instead of maintaining a relationship with me, his partner of 20 years, is irritating.

He has the next two days off, I am taking bets on the amount of communication/relating that takes place. Odds on any form of interaction are currently at 100,000 to 1. Risk takers are welcome to place bets untill 6am tuesday morning.

I got some good ear from spaceman over the weekend. He is one of the few reminders I have of intergender communication. He listens very well and my sense of humor is somewhat restored after our conversations. I can't wait to hear what he thinks of this diary entry. ccerebus, will again suggest I take drastic action, when she reads this. I am often tempted to take her advice to have a fling, but I have no clue how I would ever find the time. I must say her estimation of rainman as someone who is spiritually damaged rings truer everyday. She always was a perceptive little witch.

In more mundane matters, I finished painting this room of the house over the weekend and it is a good thing. I painted the walls antique rose which is very soothing in combination with the hunter green elements in the room. I am tempted to intall mahogony bookcases, but the room is too small. Painting and adding other personal touches to the house is very theraputic. I have been so overwhelmed since moving here. What, with my parents, rainman's crap, and bounding kid energy, I am lucky to still be able to stand sometimes. The creative process and nurturing of the living space at least creates a sense of place for me.

The allergy drugs are kicking in big time - I better sleep.

written at 8:29 p.m.
2001-05-07

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