ANTICIPATION
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moon phases � |
Well, seems there is a stupor setting in. I wonder if it is the heat or the early stages of apathy. The past three days it has been near ninety degrees and humid. Weather fit only for swimming, sleeping, or getting mighty cranky. I opted for swimming since it is one of my most effective therapies. By yesterday afternoon the pool water was eighty seven degrees. Very womb like.
Rainman was off Wednesday and Thursday and it was a very uninspiring experience. He did make an effort to accomplish something around here without having to be asked, but other than that I did not detect a glimmer of a relationship. I am not suprised. On both days he found reasons to go out which automatically makes me wonder if he is having a few. One of those days A handed me the cap from one of those little bottles of wine that come in four packs. I can't imagine where that came from (not). Rainman, I imagine in an effort to be honest, brought up that he wanted to know if he could get rid of things from the google cookie list, he wanted to get rid of some of his porn searches. He was mildly concerned that I was offended (ha ha). I let him know that if I want to get rid of them I can. Not outright saying I won't tell him how (technology is mine!). Now he realizes I am in someways omniscient. I just have no tolerence anymore, which I imagine is a severe stumbling block to rescueing our "relationship". I am enjoying my anger in some ways, in others I would love to just remove the cause rather than the symptom.
In other news...I heard from Elio again. Seems he was very busy looking for the things he needs to get started producing shirts for the London store he presented his work to. It sounds like they bought the idea. I sent him a note wishing him luck and mentioning a few thoughts. His response was one of excitement that there is such understanding and connection between us after so long. He says he will be in the area around July 15th. I must control my imagination....
I bought a bunch of clunk box film this morning in the hopes of getting some inspiration to photograph. I ran out of photo paper for the printer so I guess I will get out and shoot, if it cools off a bit. It can be very difficult to focus (literally and figuratively with A) but I will try.
written at 8:42 p.m.
2001-06-16
Miss something?
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