I BLEED BUT I DO NOT DIE
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moon phases � |
Did I mention that one of the absolute high points of the xmas eve arguement was that I wholeheartedly threw Rainman out of my bed. The obnoxious fuck came right back shortly after. Gotta use the damned lock.
I am really not sure where things may be at right now. The level of civility has increased over the past few weeks but the level of intimacy has reamained pretty much what it was...nada. There are all these little moments of ugliness that crop up too. Like last night when it was time for A. to get ready for bed and rainman threw her out of the bathroom for some offense or another. The kid is four and a half for christ sake!! Then when I mention in passing that she is learning by his example I never hear another word about the whole thing. This is concious cooperative parenting??....I think not.
I really don't have the energy for any of this right now. I am having a hormonal convulsion. Bleeding to death, dazed and confused, tired beyond description. I just wish all the bullshit would go away so I could retire to the menstrual hut and meditate on the meaning of "I bleed but I do not die"
I want to do a bit of candle magic, if I could just remember to get a candle. Obviously I am meant to vegitate right now.
Good night.
written at 8:57 p.m.
2002-01-15
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