I HAVE BEEN AVOIDING AN ENTRY
|
moon phases � |
I HAVE BEEN AVOIDING AN ENTRY.
Yep, it is true, I have been in here every night reading other peoples diaries and when I think of writing something I cringe and sign off.
I like to think this is a symptom of my self-induced spring "make-over" This is the thing I like to believe I am doing to change my life. It is a leap of faith that subscribes to the notion that "if I can't change the world, I can change how I look at it" So, I am basically, trying not to bitch about rainman.
That was the short description.
I knew something had to be done when rocketman said to me on the phone, "if you really want me to keep trying to evoke change in rainman, I will. It really doesn't seem that anything I say is making a difference, but if you want me to keep trying, I will, because I love you".
UGH. Valadation is enlightening.
So, my difficulties have been confirmed by a third party and I am left to find a way to move forward. I am redeveloping my life from a place I was several years ago. I am finding the me that has evolved over the past years of motherhood. I am packing them into a healthy attitude and I am carrying on with life.
I am trying not to fall back into the bitching about the suckiness of the situation. I catch myself getting annoyed about the usual stuff and I remind myself that I am wasting my time. I want to live, not wallow in the negativity of it all.
Other side of the coin is that rainman is still doing the same shit. At least there is one reliable thing in my life.
Positive steps.....
I am visiting Laughing Rock Farm in two weeks to spend a day at a workshop with my most frequent herbal teacher. the anticipation is enough to relax me into sanity.
I have registered for the bike tour at the end of April. I want to train enough to do the 35 mile circut.
I am working diligently on my business.
I am practicing healthy self conciousness.
Spring and summer are usually good times for me. My energy is up and I find I can do things that are difficult in the darker months.
I want to come out of 2002 changed.
Change is stability.
written at 8:50 p.m.
2002-03-23
Miss something?
- - January 26, 2009
- - May 26, 2008
- - April 09, 2008
- - January 21, 2008
- - November 24, 2007