HOROSCOPE
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Horoscope
This is a great day for you to get up on stage and shake your proud mane vigorously in front of a crowd of others, dear Leo. Let people know that you are king of the forest. There is a great need for you to take the lead now and you should not back away from this responsibility. The warrior instinct inside you is probably quite strong on a day like today so do not hesitate for a second. Be brave and courageous in all situations.
Interesting horoscope. I especially like the part about brave and courageous.
My, as anticipated, failed attempt at communication with my spouse the other night was predictably redundant. I turned the computer off after I wrote my last entry and I just sat down on the bed. Rainman just says in a very challenging tone, �so say whatever you have to say�. This translates as he expects me to say something offensive. I said nothing to provoke this kind of defensiveness. He attacks before any communication can occur. I reluctantly make a statement about just wanting to do a reality check. I said a few things about life being the same depressing situation it has been for some time. He went into this lecture on everything I say having some origin in things he has said (HUH??). Stuff about me wanting to point out what he has said or done in a round about phychobabble way. I was stunned by his defensiveness. I had sat down with the intention of allowing a reasonable conversation to happen and the next thing I know he is psychobabbling at me. I said as much and he became more nasty and unreasonable. I was left with no alternative but to suggest a marriage counselor or an attorney. He went into, what I suppose he believes, me having stopped him from leaving. HUH, I had suggested he leave if he couldn�t be present when he is in this house. I also informed him I would make sure A. is taken care of at his expense. He obviously had been drinking and was behaving in classic alcohol attention span manner. He just won�t face the reality of his inability to handle alcohol in any quantity. He thinks if he tries to do things around the house and attend a few school events he will be forgiven for his angry, sleepy, irrational, silly behavior when he has had a few on the sly.
Last night he says he won�t allow another miserable night like that to happen again. That is the four hundred and seventy third time he has said that to me.
Should I believe him?
Today was A�s last day of nursery school. The school year went amazingly fast. I can�t believe my baby is going to be a kindergartener! Summer is officially here. I hope to slow down and enjoy the summer with the kid. She is growing so fast. I don�t want the bullshit in my life to ruin the summer. I can�t make it go away entirely, but I can try to plan things so dysfunctional is not the theme.
written at 8:53 p.m.
2002-06-05
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