DESCRIPTIONS
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moon phases � |
I think I will state the obvious. This is my journal. I write whatever is bubbling around here and it doesn't always flow well. Life doesn't seem to flow so good lately so that makes sense. I seem to be going through a crisis of sorts at this point. I guess you could say I have reached the end of my proverbial rope.
Hang in there baby.
Anyway, I have to decide what will make me happy and how to accomplish it. There are things that are rather obvious like my marriage sucks. There are things that are much more complex like financial support of my daughter and parents. And those only scratch the surface. So you will read alot of ruminations on these topics and then you may read nothing about them for a while. I realize one thing very clearly and that is that I am being consumed by my anger at Rainman. This is something I will be working on although I may not make any blatant entries about it.
That ends tonights public service announcement.
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I had to have a new radiator put on my car today. Poor thing was bleeding green fluid whenever she was left idle. So she went into the car hospital and came out just fine. I am now free to drive about without gallons of antifreeze in my trunk. Now this may sound very mundane but there is a reason I include this information here. You see it looks like tomorrow may be another snow day. But not big snow so the odds are that getting out will be no problem. Especially now that my car no longer bleeds green slime. So I am thinking a little R & R might work out in the form of a little ski outing. If I can get into the nitty gritty of the catskills I will take A. for her first trip downhill on two bits of fiberglass. Sounds like it will do us both some good.
We were actually supposed to go skiing today but I couldn't bring myself to go with Rainman (he was off and it is his birthday). I just couldn't do that to myself. I will probably only go skiing this once and I couldn't ruin it by going with him.
I am keeping my cell phone next to the bed so I can call the school to see if it is closed. Then I hope the roads will be OK for travel. I am fine driving in snow it is just that we would be climbing to much higher elevations which could be tricky. We'll see. If we don't do that maybe sleigh riding or something. I need to get out. I haven't been getting out because I am sitting in a depressed corner going numb and I ain't gonna move until I make myself.
It was an almost balmy 27 degrees today with glorious sunshine. I forced myself out to the barn and I stomped the snow down so the goats can go out without being in snow up to their udders. The doelings were thrilled and were jumping around and getting all silly. The others are so pregnant that jumping around is not likely although Rainbow is springy no matter what. I have to get out of my funk before kidding starts. I need to be alert and sharp to deal with any problems that may come up. I am a bit concerned because we did lose a kid last year because he was so tangled up I couldn't get him out fast enough. We have Luna kidding for the first time this year She has had a problem with her udder and just being overconditioned no matter how little I fed her. She is finally losing weight and beginning to look pregnant but I am worried about her udder. I don't know if there is damage that will affect her ability to milk. And there is just the fact that it will be her first time which can freak her out (labor tends to do that to humans too).
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Here is something for all you stay at home moms. This was forwarded to me by Magrit and I wanted to pass it on.
A woman named Emily renewing her driver's license at the County
Clerk's office was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself. "What I mean is,">explained the recorder, "do you have a job, or are you just a . . . .?
"Of course I have a job," snapped Emily. "I'm a Mom."
We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation . . 'Housewife' covers it," said the recorder emphatically.
I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same
situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high gounding title like, "Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar".
"What is your occupation?" she probed.
What made me say it, I do not know. The words simply popped out. "I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations."
The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair, and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly,
emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written in bold, black ink on the official
questionnaire.
"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in
your field?"
Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, "I have a continuing program of research, (what mother doesn't),in the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors
and out).
I'm working for my Masters, (the whole darned family), and already
have four credits, (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the
most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?), and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money."
There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.
As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model, (a 6 month old baby), in the child-development program, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than"just another Mom".
Motherhood . . .. What a glorious career! Especially when there's a title on the door.
Does this make grandmothers "Senior Research associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations" and great grandmothers Executive Senior Research Associates"? I think so!!! I also think it makes Aunts "Associate Research Assistants".
Please send this to another Mom, Grandmother, Aunt, and other friends you know.
May your troubles be less, your blessings more, and nothing but
happiness comes through your door!
written at 8:26 p.m.
January 25, 2005
Miss something?
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