ON FRIDAY I CRY
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moon phases � |
There is a moist grey mass creeping into my head. It feels soft and sharp at the same time. It is cold in it's intent. It makes a scraping sound as it slowly moves deeper.
Tears in my eyes. Hidden by the cold air at the ice skating rink.
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I had the most odd experience today of having A's teacher approach me while I was sitting at the ice skating rink as the class romped. It seems things are being said to him by the school administration that do not include myself or A. but will profoundly affect A.
Back story if you like. I have mentioned that paying school tuition has been a bit of an issue. You see I have had to use too much of my farmer's market income to pay household bills. My market money has always been the means to pay tuition. Not so this year. Some of it has gone to the cheeseroom contruction but the use of tuition money for household bills has been the bigger offender.
Fast forward to last month when I had a meeting with the finance commitee reps at the school. I promised tuition payment as soon as tax refund arrives and explained the unfortunate circumstances of a five week hospitalization (rehab) for Rainman combined with Rainman losing his job last year this time and then the recent revelation that the health insurance that was supposed to cover the rehab stay is now claiming the facility was out of network so benefits are limited (read huge out of pocket expense). I offered the best case solution to the school. I was told I would hear from them.
Today. A's teacher approached me and said, "I heard you will need to leave the school". I looked him in the eye and gave him a very short version of what I just told you. With the explicit statement that I have gotten no feedback since the meeting nearly a month ago. Mr. E. was very supportive and is willing to arrange a meeting with administratin to plead A's case.
I feel very conflicted right now. On the one hand I understand that the school must run as any business must run. On the other I have always had the full year tuition paid before December. I have not been a financial burden. Now when a situation arises I am being judged a leech and being sent out the door. No consideration for A's wellbeing, which I enumerated on to a degree with the finance committee emphasizing the need for this one stable element in her world. Now I receive only a through the grapevine message of imminent ejection.
Mr. E. made an eloquant point in saying he wants to ask the administration what Rudolf Steiner would do. This a point that has bothered me. A community of people who run a school that adheres to Steiner's principles should have a more open mind when a family is struck by circumstances that are inconvienent but temporary. The great irony is they held a workshop on accessability for all in Waldorf education at one point. My gut is telling me there is an element of "honey if you don't have trust fund you are not a part of the in crowd" going on here.
If the end result of all of this is that A. is no longer a part of her class. I will home school her and re-evaluate the situation. I will let the school know I see the hipocrosy in their actions. I will never see them the same. I may return her to the class in the fall if that is what is best for her. It can only reinforce my conviction that the school is calling me a freeloading pauper even when I have an excellent past history and make the point that the difficulty was temporary and they acted inappropriately.
Kind of a bronx cheer in their general direction.
I generally see people in a good light. There are too many times when I am proven wrong.
Soon I shall be insane in my expectation of a different end result.
Or, humanity will be seen for what it is; a huge lot of self serving fools.
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A tear in my eye.
written at 4:21 p.m.
February 02, 2007
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