PHASE OUT
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moon phases � |
I feel so deflated right now. Defeated by circumstances. Spaced out on futility and stalked by depression. I keep ducking behind a false optimism to catch my breath but that isn't enough anymore. Like A. with her congested lungs I can't get a full and satisfying breath. Little gasps that keep me moving are as good as it gets. Right now I don't even feel like I am moving. I feel more like I am sitting in the middle of a building about to be demolished. The charges have been placed and the wires carefully run. It is only a matter of the big red button being pushed and the walls will come tumbling down on top of me. Then it will be dark and very very quite.
written at 3:38 p.m.
February 10, 2007
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