PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS
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moon phases � |
So much for going all rosey and fun today. Or at least productive.
The kiddo woke up all dizzy again and had an episode of "please help me. I don't want to feel crappy anymore" this morning. The thing is she actually is better than she was in some ways. The cough is definitely less frequent although when she coughs it is quite juicy. She has been without fever so far today which is a new and wonderful thing. On the down side she is having belly cramps and some rather runny you know whats. That could be the antibiotics though.
Either way I am sitting here wondering what to do next. We played tumbling tower a few times. I went to the store to get some tempting foods. You see A. ate a bit of food yesterday but refused to eat anything this morning. I respect the need to fast when ill but this kid has no meat on her bones to start with so a few calories a day is a must do. I did not do anything that I would have liked to do. OK, I admit it, I did call my hay guy to see if I can pick up some grass hay tomorrow. Other than that today has been a bust.
I absolutely don't feel good about running through this little adventure alone. Seems to me if I have to clean the nasty whisker shit off the bathroom sink and look at a chair that used to be white but is now some ugly shade of grey with smears I should have some sense of support. I also shouldn't go there here. That is another thing that pisses me off. I may just rant freely and say fuck the fuckers who think they know what is going on. There was this whole snotty confrontation Saturday night that was based on my not making an annoucement about what took place at the peds office on Friday. Well, I also wasn't questioned about the meds on the kitchen counter or the nebulizer parts that sat next to them. Who, I ask you is at fault? And, more importantly, does it really matter. As some old saying might go "beating a dead horse is pretty pointless". It seems to me the time to rise above being shitty and dealing with reality is way past due. And each moment that is spent behaving in a sophmoric hissy fit is another brick in a wall that already stands 200 feet tall so why bother.
It seems that everyone involved would be one hell of a bit better off if the current circumstances were to be put on hold. Perhaps forever. Most likely forever. Whatever. It really doesn't matter what is going on if there is no face to face, fact to fact civilized communication. Communication requires both a speaker and a listener and around here there seems to be an overabundance of aggressive monologue and an underabudance of attentive listening.
written at 4:41 p.m.
February 12, 2007
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