PSYCHOLOGICAL TENNIS
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moon phases � |
Having spent an hour pulling weeds and trying to murder whatever I could, I find myself needing to sort out my stuff.
The biggest frustration for me is not being able to control a situation because it is bigger than that.
In the case of Rainman there are many factors to be considered. First and foremost let us consider that I have sunk thousands into putting together a farmstead cheese making facility that deeply links my ability to generate income to this particular piece of real estate. Next let us examine the NYS divorce laws. Take for instance the splitting of what is considered "community property". Now go back and read the stuff about the business and this piece of real estate. Never mind that I was fool enough to not have a document signed acknowledging that this house was purchased outright with the proceeds of the sale of my parents house that I held in trust. In essecense my foolish trust that Rainman would not turn out to be an asshole has left me without a leg to stand on when it comes to this house and the fact that it should be mine outright. That my friends leaves me in the nasty place most women find themselves when they decide that they need to get a jerk out of their lives... needing the money to buy out the offending soon-to-be-ex spouse's interest in the real estate.
I know I have gone through this before but for some totally sucky reason it remains the same situation and I have to find a way to deal with it.
The big frustration right now for me is that Rainman won't even give a nod to the reality that he does not want to be here and he is making everyone involved unhappy. He claims he can't leave because he can't afford to. Funny, dude. He has a family home to consider returning to. My family home was rolled over into this house... do we see a pattern of fucking me overness here? He should go back and sit behind a closed door in his childhood home. I am sure he would be no trouble. We surely don't see him around here so I can't imagine he would make himself seen anymore there. Of course he could decide to fall off the wagon and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.... (hey B. if you are reading this I do apologize but this is the unfortunate reality). So I am left wondering what to do next..... I can't even start a conversation with Rainman to attempt to find a civilized and amicable solution. The man goes fucking nutz if I bring up any aspect of the real world complete with yelling and hitting things.
Perhaps the names of some bulldog lawyers would come in handy. Then I go back to the risk to the investment in the cheeseroom.....
Do you feel dizzy cause I sure do.....
There is more but I keep getting stuck at this point. It sure is the biggest hurdle in the "real world". I have know too many women who have lost everything and end up living in poverty because there isn't a paper trail to prove that they own certain things. Believe me, there are very few people who will be honest and give credit for things were it is due. Certainly a man who cannot even speak briefly about the simplest of matters will not be gracious and confirm that the origins of the "family home" was the transfer of my parents home to this one...
It isn't going to happen.
I will have to fight and the system will insist on the division of property.
I will lose what I have struggled to build and be left with nothing but the need to work as a grunt and pay for child care.
So, you see why I am deeply into the black of depression right now.
Suggestions?
written at 4:15 p.m.
June 21, 2007
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