SQUAL
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moon phases � |
A foot of snow. It came down so fast it was over by noon. I got up at 6:30 to six or so inches. The rest came down mostly within the next three hours. Crazy, insane, wintery shit. Looks nice and stuff but don't step out into the wind. Your ass will freeze off.
My mom's eyes are beginning to sink and her flesh is beginning to sag big time. It is getting harder to take a drop of blood for the glucometer. I wonder how much longer this can go on. We didn't have an aide today because of the snow. I managed to give her some sips of juice from a sport bottle style water bottle. Just a few drops or she chokes on it. She seems thirsty but not able to take much. What is best....to let her get dehydrated quickly so her organs fail and it is over or to give her the little bit she can manage so she lingers? What is the difference between mercy and cruelty?
I feel so tired. I feel indifferent. I want to crawl into a warm corner and just sleep and dream. Leave me alone and don't need anything from me. Let me rest and dream a new future. Touch me like my daughter with strength and lacking judgement. Scratch my back with a joyful rhythm.
Fetch me a tissue and a cup of tea.
Thank you my friends for listening.
written at 8:44 p.m.
December 09, 2005
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