THOUGHTS IN TIME... OUT OF SEASON
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moon phases � |
I am drained. I may have a cold or the cold may have just used up every bit of energy I had left. Either way I am not happy.
I acknowledge that this could also be a depression thing. The concept of back peddling to the chaos of pre-rehab is enough to send me flying down the rabbit hole. Rainman's beet red face at the dinner table last night didn't make me feel all cozy and fine.
Stress, cold weather, impending kidding season, projects that need to get done but the weather sucks for outdoor work...... It's enough to send anyone running for higher ground. Or crawling into a cave.
I tried to use my exercise bike this morning to clock some miles for the gang over at Walking Tour. After sitting idle my bike has a broken bit where the peddle turns. It is like the peddle just slips freely and then catches again. Definitely not usable the way it is. I fooled with it a bit but my focus is way off. I wanted to get the blood flowing thinking I would feel better....
Nothing seems to be going right.
Tomorrow I will pick up the windows for the milking parlor. I hope the sun is shining tomorrow. Maybe temps above the 30s. Maybe I am being overly demanding.....
The mountain top was coated in ice today. There was snow here this morning that didn't begin to melt until mid afternoon.
I need to be warm. I need to move. I need to feel good things.
written at 8:36 p.m.
April 12, 2007
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