WHERE WAS I?
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moon phases � |
Ok, I am going to give you the short form of what has been going on besides my mom slipping.
First the milk inspector visit.
Two weeks ago (gee how time flys)the milk inspector, who we will call Mutt, and his boss, who we will call Jeff, invited themselves over for a visit. I had been waiting for the visit from Jeff because he is the guy who could approve my cheeseroom/milking parlor plans. They arrived on time and were reasonable to talk with. I had heard horrible stories about how difficult Jeff can be but he seemed OK to me. He basically said OK to my plans with the bonus of suggesting that I do something I know has been done in other states but everyone said could never be done in NY. So now I can store milk without a bulk tank and therefore use a larger pasteurizer which a woman I visited this past summer just happens to be selling. She is holding it for me until I clear up a little issue she brought to my attention. It seems when the vessel was approved by NY they specified for her use only at her location so I have to make sure it will be OK for be to use it here. Of course Mutt didn't bother to call me back this week. He is just so good at not calling back. Maybe I should call Jeff on Monday. Anyway this all made me very happy although right now I can't seem to feel much of anything about it all.
Next on the agenda is Rainman. He says he hasn't had a drink in over three months now. That is good. It does not apparently make him any easier to live with. He did actually make a remark the other day about not having been there for me and if he can do anything now that my mother is slowly fading away....... Then last night he just got all ugly and verbally nasty and was brow beating A. and I just gotta swallow a giant scream and turn away. He knew he was being a shit and didn't even have the decency to appologize or acknowledge his behavior. I don't need his shit right now or any time.
My friends are all wonderful and supportive and helping me cope with my mother's condition. Thank the heavens for those wonderful people and my buddies here too.
I feel a bit numb most of the time right now. Overwhelmed into a light fugue state as I juggle my roles as daughter and mother.
Tomorrow is xmas tree cutting day. I hope I can find the enthusiasm to make it fun for A. as I try to tolerate Rainman's presence all weekend.
Have a great weekend.
written at 9:02 p.m.
December 02, 2005
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