PUT IT IN A BOX
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moon phases � |
Day three of rainman's vacation and no surprises so far. I was a little startled when, on saturday night, rainman asked if we could have a civilized vacation. I answered with an honest, "I don't know". Later in this psuedoconversation, rainman stated that he would be able to change his behavior if I don't look at him like he has plague everytime he comes in the room. Again, change is conditional on me doing something or he is unable to do anything. Historically we know nothing I do changes anything. Cathch-22, eh?
Yesterday I took A to magrit's son's birthday party. We were gone form ten in the morning until five in the evening. When we got back rainman had no patience at all with A. What a great daddy....
Today I was busy with household chores and getting the kinks out of the computer. I was thinking if I get things done maybe we can do a couple of fun things. That is if I don't end up screaming because this guy can't handle a four year old.
I was thinking of a little candle magic. Maybe something to disapate my anger so I can enjoy my summer with A a bit more. There is an element of risk though, I need a certain amount of the anger to keep my perspective and not start on another cycle of thinking things can be OK only to be gravely disappointed. Maybe I should put my anger in a box so that it is out of the way until I need it. I will have to work on this. I can't really do anything this week, it would be a private ritual.
The ultimate solution would be to put rainman in a box.
written at 8:29 p.m.
2001-06-25
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