PERSPECTIVE
|
moon phases � |
PERSPECTIVE.
Jolt.
I always find it disturbing when something comes along that reminds me of my idealism about being a mom. I have spent so much energy over the past few years on just staying above the water line that I have lost track of some of my priorities.
During the long period of waiting that preceeded A., I would decide what would be the best thing to do as a mom in various situations. I figured if I had to wait around and be poked and probed and suffer the twisting of spirit that goes with miscarriage and wanting a kid fairly badly, I would spend my time wisely on pondering the more philosophical aspects of parenthood. I developed some pretty revolutionary ideals (in our commercial society) and probed the depths of my feelings about what is right to do. Meaning getting out of what I want and getting into what is truely good for a child.
Then, BAM, time passes and shit happens and I have gotten so wound into other things that I have lost a bit of my perspective.
I went into school today to do my parental duty and clean A's classroom (Waldorf schools are communities, not institutions. Parents clean the nursury and kindergarten rooms and the grade children keep their classrooms clean). At the same time I needed to drop of the paperwork for A. to attend kindergarten in the fall. There is an option for either four or five mornings for the regular kindergarten day. I questioned why there was an unexplicable jump in the tuition from the four to the five day kindergarten. The answer: the school is not childcare. Children belong with their family. I also learned that some Waldorf schools continue with half day schedules through the second grade. A simple acknowlegement that children belong with family (whatever that is for each child). They should not be pushed out the door for the conveinence of the adults. Having a child is a commitment.
A. was a bit bent out of shape by the notion of only four days of kindergarten. When I told her I would miss her if she went more than that the conversation ended. She wants so badly to be independent right now but at the same time she is so very much wanting to be my baby.
I love my shorty so very much.
written at 9:06 p.m.
2002-04-19
Miss something?
- - January 26, 2009
- - May 26, 2008
- - April 09, 2008
- - January 21, 2008
- - November 24, 2007