THANKSGIVING
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moon phases � |
OK, so it wasn't captain trips, but hell did I feel shitty for a while there. The whole thing sort of made me appreciate the physical vs. the psychological discomfort difference. The physical definitely gets the greatest attention!
Well now, where was I? Shit, somewhere after a list and then....
Fuck it, let's just start from today.
It is rainman's birthday. Forty-three, tee hee. Stupid fuck doesn't even realize he is where he is.
I made the best ever cake I have ever made today. A concoction of chocolate and hazelnuts that boggles the mind and taste buds. I may get image hosting just so I can post a picture of this cake. Rainman claims appreciation and gave me a "hug". A. was very excited and had a great time. I wonder if I give a hoot. It is a very good thing that it is January, because any self respecting middle aged woman would not be able to eat this cake at any other season.
I would like to be fun and fancy free like I would have been had things not gone so dreadfully wrong. Hell, I made a cool cake, call the day a sucess.
The fire whistle just went off and now A. wants to sleep in the "big bed". I sleep very lightly and can't sleep with little squirmy people. I love cuddling with the little monkey but getting through tomorrow....
Well, I guess I should be quick.... Cccerebrus reminds me of the summer immediately after high school. A wild ride through hormonal and psychic mania. OOOOHHHH, what a summer. A week at the ocean. The discovery of the option to "not participate" and be the voyeur. Super 8 movies of the boardwalk and moments of madness. A behind the scenes experience of the haunted house.
We met and departed each other's company many times before, during and since that time. We are always on a parallel path. Entirely different but painfully alike. Sisterhood taken to a higher level. A sustaining force in my corner of the cosmos.
When I totally lose my perspective, I remember that I have always found profound connection with a few souls. This is a very reassuring experience. No matter how lonely, or confused life becomes, I know that I have companionship. Maybe not an immediate body to hold or an ear to speak into, but a place of understanding that supercedes the limits of the physical world. A peace that is not bound by maps or clocks.
I am thankful.
written at 8:23 p.m.
2002-01-25
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