FROG MUSIC
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moon phases � |
I had wanted to write more frequently in an effort to keep my thoughts sorted out and my state of mind clear. Clearly this did not happen given I haven't written since 6/4.
I have been under a dense cloud of exhaustion for the past week. This seems to be made up of one part hormonal hell, one part heavy yard work, and one part compounded stress. I reached a point late last week where the only part of me that didn't hurt was my kneecaps (simply because I hadn't gotten around to gardening yet). I took the weekend off when I realized the red tide was destined to get the best of me. I spent Saturday getting annoyed at being tired and sore and dealing with the latest installment of home health aide. We have been issued a new body to, hopefully, make life balanced and livable again. She seems OK. More mature, with a good sense of humor. We shall see. Sunday I ran away to spend the afternoon at a local historical village that was having an arts and crafts day. Magrit was there and the kids had a great time. It was a refreshing change from the stresses of home.
Speaking of stresses.....my aunt is still in critical care on the respirator and antibiotics. She is holding her own but not really improving. When my cousin called tonight, she said the fever is back...now what? I hope to drive my dad to the hospital thursday, if the aide doesn't crap out.
.....Rainman has not returned to his AA thing, and I wonder if he will. After his initial "enthusiasm" he made a remark about there should be a group for people who don't make a career of drinking....duh....it is enough to fuck over your marriage buddy, who cares how many hours a day you drink. The bottom line is you have gone all stupid with it... He has gone and gotten himself involved in writing for a local weekly newspaper. Under different circumstances, I would say this was good, but it just seems like something that will prevent him from changing his habits. I know from experience, if you cover politcal events they will usually take place in restauraunts and bars with the facilities open...Am I getting way too cynical? I suspect he had something to drink last thursday since he was dozing in his chair before 7pm. It is hard not to be paranoid in this situation. I guess time will tell as it always does. He is off the next two days so that should be enlightening.
Otherwise, I haven't heard from Elio since last week and I haven't contacted him. I don't want to seem pathetic and I realize he has a life very far away. I hope we can remain in contact and it would be totally cool to see him when he is in the area next month...we will see what the stars dictate.
I am sitting here listening to tree frogs purring back and forth to each other, it sounds so cool. They stopped when I typed that, maybe they are earth spirits that don't want to get any press....strange. I planted the garden around the wishing well this afternoon. I found some dusty miller that is totally lacey, very delicate and grey-green. I put it between white geraniums, a moon garden. I want to make the old stump at the side of the front yard into a gnome house with a small gnome garden. All this and the heavy projects only half done.
I better get some more sleep, the tide is out and I may regain my energy if the heat doesn't build too high.
written at 8:29 p.m.
2001-06-12
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