WILT
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moon phases � |
Welcome to another installment of five thousand ways to beat an issue into the ground. Once again, I would laugh if the whole thing wasn't so damned pitiful.
Lets pick up where I left off in my last entry. Rainman left for work Sunday morning without a word or gesture directed at me. I was so tired it was for the best, had he said something I would have spit in his face. Sunday evening I was tired enough to remain oblivious to him and he did not interfere with my oblivion. Monday he was home but I went out to plant (finally) the vegetable garden. He pseudo-helped, if you can call bring one cart of cut grass in for mulch. I spent five hours bent over planting and all the digging and raking that goes with it. When I got done my right leg was numb, shit I am getting old. I took A in the pool in the afternoon and basically he stayed out of the way. He went "to the bank" and didn't finish the things he claimed he would do and appeared to have imbibed. He did a couple of things I was ready to kill him for. First I was in the shower and he left A alone and went outside. Well she went downstairs to my parents and got into their dinner. A couple of hours later I had to take care of a personal portion of my mother's anotomy and A came wandereing downstairs because he was on the phone. Why, I ask, did he have to wait until I was busy doing something else to go outside or make a phone call? It looks like he is being sneaky. It is very irresponsible. It pisses me off like I can't even express.
Yesterday is a big funny. I was in the pool with A when I heard the doorbell ring. Turns out someone was delivering flowers to me. Rainman sent flowers, isn't that sweet. Yeah, right, everything he promises or does lasts about as long as cut flowers. I find the gesture vastly inadequate in view of there being no conversation, relationship, cooperation, understanding, consideration. Flowers in this situation is like putting a band aide on a gunshot wound, it won't help.
Well, last night was another no conversation etc etc evening. Same shit different day. Rainman has worked today since early this morning and he isn't home yet. Some big shots comming in at work, he says. whatever, keeps him out of my way.
A and I made goat milk mozzerella cheese and yogurt this morning. We went to pick up milk fresh from the goat at the Haven. A had a blast playing with the kids and watching them be fed. She was also very interested in the milking operation. She had been making remarks while I was planting the garden that we are farmers and metioned animals. Visiting the goats was a nice follow up. Next spring I will bring kids home. I think we will be spending a fair amount of time visiting the Haven for milk so she will be around the animals. The cheese is half gone already, A can't stop eating it. I left the yogurt on the deck to keep it warm, the cheese thermometer in the bag with the jars remained around one hundred and ten degrees. It was a very hot day!
written at 8:38 p.m.
2001-06-20
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