LULLABYE
|
moon phases � |
Rock-a-bye baby, on the tree top. When the wind blows the cradle will rock. When the bow breaks, the cradle will fall, and down will come baby cradle and all....
Thought you could believe some of that "I want to have a life with you" shit you have been hearing lately, eh? Guess again, baby. I knew this would happen. Just can't trust this fucker as far as I can throw him (which ain't far at all).
Roll the tapes back to this morning. We had the open classroom to attend at A's school. An important event for the preschool crowd. Rainman had taken the day off to attend and we went "as a family". A. had a great time playing with the other children while I tried to speak to the other moms through my premensrual haze. All went relatively well.
A bit later, we get home and A., in her somewhat excited state wacks rainman with an empty water bottle. rainman uses his ugliest voice to let A. know he is unhappy and scares her to death. A couple of other similar situations occur over the next couple of hours. Trouble in "paradise".
I was in another peach preperation frenzy after we got home from school today since we were out running errands and playing at Magrit's house yesterday. I am ONE person....
Rainman went out to take a book back to the library and we sat down to dinner. A conversation came up about not using the ugly voice with children, it just ain't waldorf. I thought this was a valid conversation. Ha Ha....an hour later the guy is sitting in the living room barely able to hold his eyes open. Drinking dear??
I had decided to play back "Of Mice And Men" tonight, how appropriate. The bumbling idiot can't see why everything dies under his heavy touch. His best friend kills him rather than having strangers do it in revenge for the accidental death of a woman who thought he was harmless.
Got a gun?? I would love to put this idiot down before he hurts anyone else.
Spaceman has been funny, overatures of phone sex and foot fetishes. He is funny and sweet. It is reassuring that rainman is not a definitive genetic defect in the family.
Tonight I have little hope for change. I will establish community that will sustain A and myself through my friends and school. He will be emotionally unnecessary. It is better that way. No hurt if there is no attachment.
written at 8:39 p.m.
2001-09-05
Miss something?
- - January 26, 2009
- - May 26, 2008
- - April 09, 2008
- - January 21, 2008
- - November 24, 2007