REST
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moon phases � |
I am very relieved that the funeral is over. Don't get me wrong, I think my mother needed as much honor and dignity as possible, I just have a problem with traditional funeral rituals. That being said, my dad needed traditional funeral rituals.
The preacher who did the service was very creative and enthusiastic and did very well. He focused on the love and joy that should be carried into the world rather than the sorrow of her debilities. His own mother has MS so he was very simpithetic to my mother's fate. He sang Amazing Grace at the graveside which was very nice given her scottish heritage.
I had a really hard time not puking throughout the proceedings and I developed one hell of a headache. I have since had several glasses of wine and many many cuddles with A. and feel much better. My dad did pretty damned good through the whole thing. He crumbled at the end of the funeral service and again when it was time to leave the gravesite. He seems OK since we have been home.
It looks like tomorrow may be a snow/ice day and school won't happen. We will decorate my father's tree if there is not school. A. and my dad need as much normalcy as possible right now.
A. was doing so well but she freaked out a bit at the end of the gravesite service and insisted I sit with her on the ride home. She needs to have me be as normal as possible right now. This week has been just monsterously weird for her.
Sleep would be so nice. I haven't slept through the night all week and I have had some really strange dreams when I have slept. Rest is something the living need very acutely.
written at 8:52 p.m.
December 15, 2005
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